In a recent mailbag column, Bill Simmons (link to the right) took a question from someone who provided a link to the video of Bruce Springsteen's performance with the Wallflowers at the 1997 Video Music Awards (click on the title of this post to get there). The jist of the question, as well as Simmons' answer, was that Springsteen blew the Wallflowers and poor Jakob Dylan (son of Bob) out of the water.
Watch the video. I'm telling you, I'm not sure they did. Honestly, Springsteen was awful. Dreadful. Vomit-inducing. I just don't understand the fascination some folks have with him. While he is a decent guitar player, he can't sing for anything and is painful to watch.
Of course, if one is predisposed to like the Boss (thereby providing extra-biblical evidence for the depravity of man) they will love this video. It is classic Bruce, here's the checklist: painful vocals- check (listen to him sing the chorus, was that harmony? wailing? squeeling?); messing up the lyrics- check; looking like he's going through a painful bowel movement while playing the guitar- check; and finally (and most egregious in my opinion), sharing the microphone in such a way that it should make every heterosexual male cringe- check. See, what's not to love?
Mind you, some of these things aren't so bad. I don't mind folks who can't sing, after all, I'm a phish fan, so clearly off-key vocals don't bother me too much. But that's part of their style. Bruce is a guy who participated in the We Are the World video, and was awful. You don't see Trey Anastacio doing that stuff, he knows better. Even the painful looking guitar playing isn't that big of a deal. I love Stevie Ray Vaughan, and that man was uglier than homemade sin when he played.
But the microphone sharing thing hurts. He just gets so close to the other guy, it's uncomfortable. Anytime a dude's lips are this close to touching another man's lips, I can't get excited. On the other hand, I agree with Bill Simmons that this would make a hilarious SNL sketch. So maybe it is redeemable.
One final thing and then I'm done. Simmons posits that maybe this performance is a reason why the Wallflowers weren't as big as many thought they would be (that album, Bring Down the Horse is awesome). He says, "it's quite possible that Bruce completely derailed young Jakob", and then asks, "What would have happened if Bruce didn't agree to play the '97 VMAs?" Is he serious? I realize that sports writers are prone to exaggerate, it's their M.O. (that's modus operandi, just for Ryan). But this is ridiculous. We're supposed to believe that because Springsteen showed up on some meaningless show and outplayed (supposedly) Dylan that the Wallflowers never recovered? Sorry, I just can't. It's far more likely that Dylan was so grossed out by Springsteen's spit flying into his mouth during the Share-Your-Microphone portion of the program that he was never the same. I know I wouldn't be.
Monday, July 17, 2006
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I didn't dig Bringing Down the Horse, if that helps. I do have 6th Avenue Heartache on my iPod, but just about every song I can remember from that disc was either One Headlight (which was played so many times while I was in high school that I just don't know if I can ever be objective about its merits) or one of the many that sounded good until I really listened. Like The Difference - the chorus, it's like it aspires to the kind of coherence you get in a Backstreet Boys song. I think I liked Three Marlenas, but since I don't know for sure, I'm going to assume I didn't because I do have vague memories of making the decision that I just couldn't join the rest of my friends in liking the Wallflowers (even the song I now own, I only own because it sets the mood really well for long summer afternoon road trips, where you take the back roads that wind a little and don't have any kind of timetable. The song could completely suck, and I neither know nor care). I mean, yes, everything I remember about the Wallflowers sounded very poetic, but when I tried to get the meaning.. eh. So no, I don't think Bruce sank the poor guys.
Oh wow. Now I actually watched the video. You're so right. I don't know where he possibly showed them up, except maybe some flashier guitar stuff at the end?
And I hate myself a little now. I kinda like the song now that it isn't coming through the speakers of my shared car 4 million times a day as my brother and I drive to school and back. Jerk.
I guess you're right about the boss. He's only won 13 Grammy Awards, an Academy Award, an Emmy Award, is in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the Songwriters Hall of Fame, and, as I just learned, has an Asteroid named after him.
If only he didn't sing so close to another guy. Then maybe, just maybe, he could have achieved true success.
Ah, sarcasm.
Kurt, it is a good album. You should listen to it again instead of studying for that bar thing.
Craig, you are free to feel however you want, but know this: if you and I are ever speaking in church and you come anywhere near my microphone, I will punch you.
May I point out that Kim Basinger, Matt Damon, and Ben Affleck have all won major Oscars? Halle Berry (whether or not she was any good in Monster's Ball, which I didn't see, has she displayed any skill since then in.. X-Men movies? Catwoman?)? Robin Williams got an Oscar for playing a role that was basically, "Let me do some crappy therapy work and fix all your problems by letting you cry and telling you it's not your fault. Look, I'm serious now! Serious! No Mork anywhere in this movie! If Mindy walked in that door, I'd just give her the same puppy dog eyes I'm giving you, Oscar voters, because I'm serious and sensitive." Cuba Gooding Jr. of Snow Dogs and Boat Trip? Nicolas "my eternal nemesis" Cage?
Awards from your peers are not dispositive evidence of being that amazing at what you do to those who did not grow up listening to you...
(and I'd kinda like to see a tense duet between Danny and Craig)
I realize that my last comment was ambiguous. I'd like to see the duet for the tension of "Is someone going to get punched out, and if so, which one, and when?" Not for the kind of awkward/unsettling tension Danny described in his post.
I realize that my last comment commenting on what was previously my last comment was actually anonymous. Just to clear it up, allow me to post with my name. Which, I suppose, could be faked by anyone out there on that "internet," but for what it's worth, this has all been me.
Oh man, the bar sucks. You see how I respond to the pressure of studying? I haven't had to work for academics in.. what, seven years, minus a few finals weeks or big papers? (Baylor - not the most hardcore academic powerhouse in Texas, and HLS - where the curve guarantees you a B if you show up and write "I like the law.")
Thank you for clearing that up. Both the awards issue and the duet.
And I'm sorry the bar sucks. I think you should just quit and become a vigilante lawyer with your own TV show.
I like Danny's idea.
Why does it always make the first letter of your name lower case? Me no likey!
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